After the Fight.
“What am I going to do next?” Undergrad is finished. I’ve graduated. I can’t wait tables forever. What am I going to do next? That’s the question I asked myself, as I was working as a server at Bill’s Seafood Restaurant on Chincoteague Island. Paying back three months’ worth of rent, a semester of fraternity dues, and various small bills from people who lent me money during my senior year of college. I was desperate for an answer, similar to the desperation I feel for water at the end of a long run or an intense workout. What am I going to do next. . .?
My Last Black & Mild Cigar.
Chiropractic. That was the response I received. I honestly did not know what Chiropractic was about, I never met a Chiropractor before. Google provided me a bit of insight. I was astonished. I was amazed, reading the philosophy of how the body was made to heal itself. I was in awe that a profession existed that believed we were made to be whole, that within us are all the necessary components to promote our right to express, freedom, and fulfillment. This had to be it, I thought. This must be my next step. So, I obeyed the whisper. I obeyed the movement of “yes” that flowed inside of me. I packed up my two-door Acura coupe and drove 10 hours to arrive in Marietta, Georgia. I smoked my last black and mild cigar that day. It was my way of moving towards accepting a painful past, but also welcoming new energy that I hoped would bring me healing. No more would I need this black and mild to soothe my anxiety, I was desperate to find something new.
Remember, Seasons Change.
We MUST be careful. We must exercise caution, be guarded and grounded in awareness as we move from season to season. Be careful not to cling. Why? Because it’s now 5 years after deciding to attend Chiropractic school that I realize I’m out of my healing season. Honestly, I’m a year past due. I was actually kicked out for overstaying. Overtime we can grow intimate with a particular season of our lives, especially when it was a traumatic one. I was sitting in my car when it finally dawned on me: you need to STOP saying that you’re healing. You are HEALED. You need to divorce that old mindset and change the language you are using. We move through a season in order to arrive and welcome in the next one. The future is not experienced as the future, it’s experienced as the present…as a moment.
It was in my obedience of following the whisper, a confirmation that came from within me, that I found myself on a spiritual journey towards clearing my past. At first, I thought I was attending Life University in Marietta, Georgia to become a Chiropractor (at least that’s the story I told). We like things to be neat and make sense, but I was only sharing half of my truth. Realize that we can only serve others from a place of abundance when that Universe first exist within us. You can attempt to fake it, but the Universe can’t be deceived. So, follow the whisper. Follow what feels right within you. The mind is an analytical machine, but sometimes what we need lies outside of what makes sense. Choose to be guided by spirit, not ego. Don’t be afraid to clear your past, to do the deep work to empty yourself of old things so that you can be filled with all things new. Just remember that on your journey through one season, it is always your intention to arrive to the next one. When you get there, when you feel the weather begin to change within you…don’t forget to die to your old self. Step into your new skin. Rise. Be reborn.
For an extended conversation on How Clearing the Past Can Help You Move Forward Personally & Professionally, I’d encourage you to listen to my latest podcast feature with Taylor Morgan, founder of what the eff podcast.